It's been a while since I contributed to this journal, I have to admit I pour more energy when I'm online to my facebook.

I gotta admit I'm feeling intimidated, it's a new year with new challenges. This year my wife and I were blessed with a wonderful little bundle named Juliette, I left a job that left me unfulfilled, and found a new awareness politically that at one time would have rivaled my spiritual understanding, and obviously our national course has been redirected through the election of what could be a fresh perspective

I'm at an impasse, between the philosophical burdens of the past and the promises of the future.

Of course this means a reevaluation in many things, no less than my photography. I left the military so I could pursue my photography and I have disregarded that dream. There are the practicals of life that have to be attended to, but what about my art? Where is the inspiration I felt in Iceland, in Rome and Sicily, and in Crete? Those times in my life when while wearing a uniform I found a hope for something more? President Elect Obama has said "In a generous America you do not have to be rich to find your potential". Do I believe this? Can I pass this and share this with my daughter, who is already watching and looking to me?

I've started a new personal project called "Made of Awesome", the early fruits of which I've posted in my gallery. So far it looks fairly stock, nothing to special, but I believe it can grow. I see the work of Hakan [link] Mothyyku [link] Carpesav [link] and others like Alexiuss [link] and feel challenged that I can be more than I have been. That indeed I do have a vision that I can share that others will believe they can be involved in.

In short; Yes Ben Can!

I'm excited to do more one on one sessions where I can start pushing a bit now that I've circled the track a few times, with people like Girl Screams [link] and others who are willing to go out on a limb and believe in me a bit. Some of this is going to be a little DIY and with a little inexpensive creativity, but you have to start from the bottom to really appreciate when your at the top. After four years working at photo stores I should have learned by now that if part time photographers with old point and shoot digital camera's can call themselves "professional photographers" with a buisness card and a strait face, then I can come close with an advanced photo editing package and a digital SLR.

Anyway. More to Come. Stay Tuned. Don't Go Away. We'll Be Right Back.

Simulacron, The Suaveness Czar.